Proust.

Proust. What a mo.

When my mum was pregnant with me, she kept a journal about the difficulties of being a new mum, her relationship with my dad and her life. I always do the Proust Questionaire in the back of Vanity Fair (in my head), and have recorded it here as a snapshot of my life before the baby comes and  everything changes.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Knowing that all the people I love are content and happy. Doing something creative, challenging and relaxing. Not worrying. Having lots of things ticked off my to-do list.

What is your greatest fear?

Letting people down.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Caring too much what other people think, and looking for validation from external sources instead of doing what makes me happy.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Apathy and stupidity. And walking slowly.

Which living person do you most admire?

My dad.

What is your greatest extravagance?

I'm not very extravagant at all. Probably food and eating out. I eat out about four times a week, plus buy most lunches.

What is your current state of mind?

Jittery. Excited, nervous, full to the brim with ideas and love.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Independence.

On what occasion do you lie?

Purchasing shoes and hiding them in the back of the cupboard. What a cliche!

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

Being pregnant has given me a new attitude towards my looks. My body has been taken over by another creature, and will bear the scars and marks of the inhabitation forever. If I had to change something though, I'd like longer legs. I have a long torso and stumpy legs and another inch or two would balance them out.

What is the quality you most like in a man?

Strength of character and conviction.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

See above.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

'Oh my god', 'Jesus Christ' and 'freaking'.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

Lee.

When and where were you happiest?

Probably now. Everything is changing. I feel like I'm at a big bend in the road of my life and shit's about to get real.

Which talent would you most like to have?

Tha ability to sing like Beyonce.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Relax more. Be more compassionate. Slow down.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

That Lee and I's relationship has survived being apart for eight months, travelling together for five months, living through two major and messy renovations, him starting his own business and now pregnancy.

If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

Myself, but in 1960s New York.

Where would you most like to live?

In my old house in Northcote. It was our first house and an awesome location and house. We peaked waaaay too early with that house!

What is your most treasured possession?

My health.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Being along and depressed in the middle of the night.

What is your favorite occupation?

Crocheting in front of a good movie with Lee, whilst eating warm cookies and cold Milo.

What is your most marked characteristic?

Practicality and contradiction.

What do you most value in your friends?

Listening without judgement. Making an effort.

Who are your favorite current writers?

Tim Winton, Sloane Crossley, Bill Bryson, David Sedaris, Shakespeare, Jonathan Franzen.

Who is your hero of fiction?

Hermoine Granger.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Hmm. Pass this one.

Who are your heroes in real life?

Clare Bowditch. Marieke Hardy. Anyone doing their thing and not giving a fuck.

What are your favorite names?

Eden. Reverie. Harper. Asher. Xavier.

What is it that you most dislike?

The sound of a ringing phone.

What is your greatest regret?

Being a bitch to people in high school.

How would you like to die?

Quickly.

What is your motto?

Above all, fear nothing.

Some more pins of late.

Love this neutral nursery. Baby rooms should be calm, tranquil and light!
I want one of these SO BADLY.

Source: google.com via Emma on Pinterest

Love this galley kitchen . I have a thing for heavy, timber-frames doors as well.
I might get Mum to make me something like this, but in shades of green. Gorgeous.

Five Things for Tuesday.

Dave was unimpressed by the baby wriggling around.

1. Planning our new kitchen! It will have so.much.storage and a big island bench and recycled timber benchetops. The Manfriend will make the whole things custom, so all the drawers and cupboards are weird widths to maximise storage space in our tiny house.

2. Nearly every weekend between now and when the baby comes is booked with classes, weekends away, birthday parties and catch-ups. It is exciting but I have to consciously carve out time to myself. I am already in the third trimester and feel like this pregnancy has already gone waaaaay too fast. I need to keep reminding myself of how special it is.

3. I have found loads of new blogs by fabulous mums who remind me that my life is not going to be over once the baby comes. I LOVE seeing familes doing awesome things together and having fun times. A lot of the rhetoric and writing around new mums is negative and frankly, terrifying, so it is lovely stumbling upon positive descriptions of motherhood.

4. I'm getting all my hair cut off tomorrow! I haven't been to the hairdresser for ages, not since I went to a hairdressing school to try to save money and they did a crap job. I want something more interesting than my current hair (brown, straight, hanging) but still easy to handle when I have a baby and won't be able to maintain it. I'm thinking of long layers with an asymmetrical bit on one side, all very dark brown with some red parts throughout. Yay!

5. We are learning CAD at school, which is overwhelming and daunting. I like to know things, and I don't like the feeling of not knowing how to do something. It is frustrating to be back at the beginning again!

Twenty-eight weeks.

I will be twenty-eight weeks pregnant in two days. Only twelve weeks to go! This is the business end of the pregnancy. You are well and truly making yourself known. The other day at about 3am I actually googled 'baby moving too much' as I was sure that no baby should be kicking this constantly. You rarely stop moving. It has gotten to the point when I can see my stomach moving and can't rest things on my belly anymore as it is like tectonic plates moving.

It is a very special feeling though, like a secret between you and me. When I get anxious about you being healthy and safe, I am reassured by your kicking.

I am feeling pretty much fine otherwise though. A bit sore in my hips and sides, and I have become the kind of person who grunt and puffs when standing up, but otherwise, I tend to forget that I am pregnant until you kick me in the bladder or I try to bend over and realise that I have no waist.

We have started getting organised with all the baby stuff we might need. I have a big list and we are working our way through it. We have been so lucky to get so much stuff for free. Everything from baby baths, portacots, baby carriers and even cloth nappies has been donated to us second hand. Makes it very easy!

Your dad and I spend a fair bit of time talking about the kind of parents we will be. I have an image of myself as a mum, but I know that the reality will be quite different. I keep envisaging lots of books and cooking and running outside and exploring.

Your cousin was born yesterday- Zane Alec Gratton, to your uncle Alec and his girlfriend Nichole. They live in QLD but hopefully we will get a chance to meet him soon, although it might be a bit tricky for a while. So exciting! The photos are gorgeous. What a cutie.

Love,

Mum

Five Things for Tuesday.

1. Getting really stuck into the house. We got heaps done this weekend, which has somewhat eased my frazzlement and panic about bringing my newborn baby home to a construction site. Dad and the Manfriend knocked out a wall between the living room and kitchen, which makes it seem much bigger. They also started pulling up floorboards and put in the new window in the front room. Next, we need to replace the floor in the living room, finish the hallway and bedrooms, and start pulling out the kitchen.

2. I have a bladder infection. It is not pleasant. Let's just leave it at that.

3. All the plaster dust and rubble at home is making me crave clean, white space. I am in love with this house, via the style files.

4. Aldi. I freaking love that place. It is so insanely cheap but GOOD. They have a policy of using Australian grown and owned goods where possible, and have no artificial colours or flavours in any of their products. And you can buy bread, detergent, weird European cookies, a lawnmower, a lamp and potting mix all at once. I bought a baby monitor there yesterday and had to restrain myself from buying all the other baby stuff.

5. I am constantly amazed at the way that stock photos categorise their images. I've been trying to find a picture of a group of women, all different sizes, looking healthy. Nothing like this exists. If I search 'healthy body' in iStock, I get super-skinny models holding measuring tapes and apples. Search for 'workout' and you'll find a bigger woman eating cake whilst on a treadmill. So, so bizarre. That god I'm not the only one who finds it weird.

http://thehairpin.com/2011/01/women-laughing-alone-with-salad

Five Things for Tuesday.

1. The Rad Rebel Riders BikeFest Bake Off is this weekend! BikeFest is an awesome Melbourne event promoting bikes in everyday life, and they are holding a Village Picnic on Saturday, complete with a bake off. I'm still not sure what I'm going to enter - either something really decadent and chocolatey or something a bit light and fruity.

2. Being able to see the baby move in my tummy is weird, slightly gross, super special and magical all at the same time. I can feel where its head and legs are depending on how it kicks. Last night, the Manfriend and I were laying in bed watching The Help (which was better than I expected) and my belly was moving like  an alien was trying to escape from via my bellybutton.

3. Passionfruit! A friend gave me a big bag of them from her vine and they smell SO GOOD. The Manfriend doesn't like them so I have them all to myself.

4. Getting stuck into the renos this weekend. Mum and Dad are coming over to help us rip up the living room floor and sand the study. I'm excited to finally get things moving quicker, but am not looking forward to the massive mess again. Oh joy.

5. I had my first day back at school last night. It was nice to get back into things, but I discovered that my laptop needs to be upgraded in order to support the version of CAD we are using. Grrr. But otherwise CAD looks like fun (I might regret saying that in a few weeks though!).

Reno sweet reno.

Constance 1956 Vintage Caravan This is so, so far from what our campervan looked like.

Back from our camping babymoon in NZ! It was super relaxing and cruisy, which is just what we needed. The Manfriend drove for most of it so I crocheted like a ninja. We ate loads of yummy food, went for walks, went to a country fair and saw some freaking amazing sights. Seriously, the south island of NZ is the most underrated place in the world. Within a 100km radius you can find crazy landscapes and natural springs, massive plateaus and rainforests, fjords and rivers. Gorgeous.

I will post more photos of our trip when I get around to uploading them.

It was a bit disheartening coming back to our half-finished house and realising that we have a loooong way to go to get it finished before the baby comes in FOURTEEN WEEKS (omg.) The Manfriend is super-busy at work with a big project that will finish in three weeks, then he is going to go nuts on the house to get it done. There still isn't a single room that is totally complete, or even close. This weekend I'm going to get carpet sorted for the bedrooms, spackle, sand and paint the hallway and study. Grrrr.

Meanwhile, I start back at school tonight which is VERY exciting. I'm surprised at how much I missed it. We are learning CAD, which is a bit overwheming but hopefully the Manfriend will be able to give me a hand. I'm looking forward to never doing manual drafting ever again as the whole thing was too much for me. I think when Lee and I are working together I will end up doing most of the drafting and designing, while he does the actual building and contruction, so I better make sure my CAD skills are up to scratch.

xx

Some pins of late.

Source: designismine.blogspot.com via Emma on Pinterest

Cannot describe how much I love this image. The quilt, the flooring, the shelves....

Source: amandatealdesign.com via Emma on Pinterest

A modern, awesome nursery. I'm so not into pastels and baby themes so love this interior.

Source: ing-things.blogspot.com.au via Emma on Pinterest

When I was growing up, Mum always had a huge stack of blankets on the couch and our beds. We were totally that family who would watch TV while covered in blankets. Visitors would always be offered a blanket too.

Source: urbanoutfitters.com via Emma on Pinterest

Fresh and modern quilt colours

Source: whorange.net via Emma on Pinterest

I really want to steal this idea for the baby, with Lee's fingerprint, my fingerprint and then the baby's print.

Source: tumblr.com via Emma on Pinterest

Love this branch bed.

Source: somethingblond.blogspot.com via Emma on Pinterest

Colourful vintage kitchen! Cuteness.

Five Things for Tuesday.

1. Eating straight from the garden. Last night we had salmon with homegrown tomatoes, homemade pesto from homegrown basil and a salad from homegrown greens. I love that all I have to do for a meal is grab whatever needs picking in my little vegie garden.Yum!

2. This book about French parenting. The Manfriend and I have been discussing what kind of parents we will be. It's hard to plan anything as I don't want to follow any strict rules, but hope to be pretty relaxed and easy-going. This new book Bringing up bebe by an American ex-pat living in France has an interesting take on parenting. When I was in high school I lived in france for a few months, and the kids are very well-behaved and respectful, but also seem relaxed, happy and well-adjusted. A Cup of Jo and Jezebel had interesting takes on the book (with some great comments), and the Huffington Post covers French parenting generally.

3. Buying books. I have been going a bit nuts on Booko and bought the above book, as well as At Homeby Bill Bryson which I've been meaning to read for ages,  Extremely Loud and Incredibly Closeby Jonathan Safran Foer and One on One by Craig Brown. I know I'm not going to get much of a chance to read once the baby comes, so want to stock up now!

4. Going to NZ tomorrow. So freaking excited.

5. I had my first prenatal massage yesterday. It was AMAZING. The massage table had a hole in it for my tummy, which looked weird at first and was a bit tricky to get into, but it felt so good to lay on my front. The therapist massaged right down into my back and hips. I had tears pouring down my face as it hurt so much, but feels really good today. I want to try and get one every month or so, just as a pampering treat.

Destination NZ.

 

Source: google.com via Tina on Pinterest

 

The Manfriend and I are heading to NZ for a few weeks for an epic roadtrip through the South Island. I am ridiculously excited about spending time meandering through towns, visiting every.single.opshop on the whole island, living out of a backpack again and taking lots and lots of photos. This is our last chance to travel together with just the two of us before the baby comes in June. I have been getting inspired by reading the Lonely Planet NZ book and trawling Flickr for photos of NZ.

Things I want to do while over there:

Read Sarum by Edward Rutherford (love me some epic historical fiction) and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer (yay book club book).

Eat fush and chups.

Crochet this baby toy.

See some whales and dolphins.

Make tea on our little camper stove and put in on a thermos to take for walks.

Read every touristy signboard we come across.

Not get carsick.

Eat a lot of seafood, cheese and any food I have never seen before.

'Helpful' things people have said to me while I am pregnant.

The first thing I learnt when I found out I was pregnant was that growing a human in my tummy apparently automatically means that I am willing and waiting to receive a lot of comments and opinions, from family, friends and complete strangers.

  • I take the tram to work everyday, which makes for excellent people watching, but was horrendous when I had bad morning sickness. The other day I was reaching up to pull the cord to get off at the next stop, and one woman leaned over and frantically said "Don't put your arms above your head! The cord will wrap around the baby's neck and IT WILL DIE!" Thanks for that advice, lady. I'm just going to walk around with my arms pinned to my sides for the next six months.
  • The anti-abortion protesters who I unknowingly walked past thought it would be a lovely idea to congratulate me for 'keeping my baby'. I saw red, went mental and opened a can of verbal whoop-ass. Since when does being pregnant mean that I am pro-life?
  • People with opinions on our baby names. One of the first questions people ask is whether we've started thinking of names. Before I knew better, I would reel off a few from the (long) shortlist, and what followed is a relentless critique from every angle, including clangers such as 'I knew a Jack once, but he was an asshole'. I'm pretty sure that your opinion on the name of my future offspring is not relevant, Random Colleague, but thanks anyway.
  • "You can't eat that!" has got to be the overall most common offering. Sure, there are some dietary restrictions while you are up the duff - no runny eggs, no soft-cheese, no alcohol, no raw fish, no soft-serve ice-cream. (I have in fact eaten all of the above at some point in the last five months, with no ill effects. Mr Whippy has NEVER come down my street before, and when I heard that tinkly music last weekend I couldn't grab my purse fast enough). But to the stranger who insisted on telling me off for eating a can of tuna and the sandwich shop lady who refused to put ham in my salad sandwich, I'd like to point that women have been doing this for a long, long time, often whilst drinking scotch and smoking a pack of fags a day.
  • "You are SO BIG! Are you having twins?" This was from a midwife. Um, no, just one baby here. One enormous, overgrown baby. And I still have four months to go...

Five Things for Tuesday.

Love heart

1. Toblerone. Oh Em Gee. I needed something sweet after lunch and was lurking around the supermarket near my office and picked up this prism-shaped baby. Forgot how freaking good they are. When the Manfriend and I were travelling, we made a ritual of buying a massive Toblerone at every airport we were in. They still remind me of dirty backpacking days.... good times.

2. Having every nail a different colour. A fun way to 'inject some colour' (as the wanky stylists say) as I am wearing so much black whilst preggers.

3. Filling out my maternity leave claim form. It feels so much more real now that I've given notice and have my paid parental leave all lined up. It will be a big income drop but still, FREE MONEY. Win.

4. Eating real food. I made a massive batch of zucchini slice on the weekend which has hooked me up lunch-wise for the rest of the week. We had steamed salmon and vegies for dinner last night, and I'm making an italian stir-fry thing (okay, it does sound weird) tonight. And I have been having salads made from rocket and lettuce straight out of my vegie-garden-in-a-bath. Maximum vegies and protein, yo. And Toblerone.

5. I found three new blogs that are supercute and awesome.

 One Claire Day is by a stylist-turned-mum and her gorgeous new family living in Far North Queensland. I obviously read the entire archives and now feel like Claire is my new best friend. Stalkerish? No.

The Beetle Shack is another blog by a lovely lady and her cute family. It's inspiring to know that I won't (necessarily) turn into a daggy barefoot woman as soon as I have a baby.

Dressed for 2 is a fashion blog by a fellow preggers chick navigating an expanding waistline. I also want to be her new best friend too.

Places to go and people to see.

I am getting itchy feet. After finishing uni a while ago, I took off through Africa, Europe and India for a year or so and upon returning home, swore that I would prioritise travel more. But then I stayed in one place and put down roots. I built a house and got two cats. And got knocked up. All of which have firmly cemented me to this little patch for a while longer, at least.

Heaps of friends have packed it all in and taken off for an extended trip overseas. One is in Vanuatu, another is in Kenya. One of my best friends has moved to London indefinitely. I miss her already.

I want to go to Cuba before it collapses, and Japan before the bubble bursts. I want to go to New York before I get old and New Orleans for the music. I want to ride along the Rhine from Basel to Amsterdam and along the Baja peninsula in Mexico.

For now, I’ll have to be content with planning adventures in my head until the baby comes. And once it is more of a person and less of a blob, we will pack up and hit the road again.

Things to make.

I always have an epic list of things on the go that I want to make, but I am trying to get a grip on the unfinished projects too. They include about eighteen (!) finished embroidery projects that I need to build frames for, crocheted cushions that need backs pieces and inserts and the patchwork quilt top that I made that still isn’t quilted. I need to spend a day at mum’s place with her awesome machine and get it all done. Anyway, I am crocheting a grey and yellow cat basket/house for Dave and Layla, because they will have to sleep in the laundry when the baby arrives and I want them to have a nice little house instead of a box of old towels. I need about 10 more rows on the base before I can begin the sides.

There are so many more things that I want to make as well!

:: This moss graffiti would look awesome on an old wall. Maybe for our shed?

:: I’d love to make this Dr Who doll for Lee or Sam

:: SUCH a cute idea for a new family. And it can be added to once more kids arrive too.

:: Lovely way to capture the first year

:: Awesome handmade octopus - the buttons could be risky for little babies though.

26 before 26.

For the past few years, around every birthday I’ve made a list of things I’d like to do before next year’s birthday. I’ve never actually completed any of the lists, but is a helpful reminder that I’m not getting younger and to live a rich and fulfilling life. My birthday is 3 months away, and I’ve made a fair crack at this list already. Some of the items I won’t do - for example, I can’t actually fit into my brown skirt with my pregnant belly so there’s no point making three more skirts from the pattern! - but it is rewarding to see the things that I have done in the past year. 1. Go swimming more

 2. Sell the house

3. Get knocked up

4. Cook a roast from scratch - need a good excuse to do this as cooking meat freaks me out a bit

6. Buy another house

7. Do the 30 Day Shred

8. Make three skirts from my brown skirt

9. Finish sewing my quilt

10. Get my eyes lasered

11. Go to the dentist

12. Get a pedicure

13. Print out photos from my overseas trips and put them into frames

14. Plant an amazing vegie garden

15. Spend lots of time with Sam

16. Do a session of Bikram yoga - can’t do this while pregnant :(

17. Get published in an architectural magazine

18. Get our finances sorted

19. Go camping with Lee for at least two weeks without my iPhone

20. Get groceries from Aussie Farmers Direct

21. Be a tourist in Melbourne

22. Go to Port Fairy again - booked for March!

23. Get my own design clients

24. Make something with Logan berries

25. Give a presentation at work

26. Change my title at work

Crafty times.

I have been getting stuck into listening to RadioLab on the tram whilst crocheting. My tram time-passing activity is totally dependent on how heavy the book I'm reading is, which is kind of ridiculous. My current book is Paul Kelly's The A to Z Recordings, and it is a whopper, so I leave it next to my bed and take my crocheting on the tram.

Anyway, because I am getting more into crafty good times, I thought I'd make a list (because I don't have enough lists in my life) of stuff to make.

Although it would be good to finish the 578 other WIP projects before I start something else. Grr.

26 before 26

I made this list after my 25th birthday and realised I haven't posted it. It is a nice reminder of things to do, otherwise I get bogged down in gym-work-sleep-gym-work-sleep. 1.    Go swimming one lunchtime

2.    Sell the house

3.    Get knocked up

4.    Cook a roast from scratch, including Yorkshire puddings

5.    Ride to work three times a week for a month

 6.    Buy another house

7.    Do the 30 Day Shred

8.    Make three skirts from my brown skirt

9.    Finish sewing my quilt

10.    Get my eyes lasered

11.    Go to the dentist

12.    Get a pedicure

13.    Print out photos from my overseas trips and put them into frames

14.    Plant an amazing vegie garden

15.    Spend lots of time with Sam

 16.    Do a session of Bikram yoga

17.    Get published in a magazine

 18.    Get our finances sorted

19.    Go camping with Lee for two weeks without my iPhone

20.    Get groceries from Aussie Farmers Direct

21.    Be a tourist in Melbourne

22.    Go to Port Fairy Folk Festival again

23.    Pick up some design work

24.    Make something with Logan berries

25.    Spend a day with my mum just hanging out

26.   Find the perfect present for Lee's 30th and mum and dad's 50th

House sold!

What a massive few days. The house was passed in at the auction on Saturday, due to no bids. It was pretty depressing sitting in the front room of the gorgeous house that we built ourselves, looking out at 120 faces with not one person bidding. Apparently that is what is done now: by not bidding, the emotion of the auction is taken off the purchaser and put back on the vendor.

Imemdiately after the auction, four different parties came in and made offers. We had a mini-auction, with us sitting in the front room and the potential purchasers in the other rooms, with the agents running back and forth between us. Crazy times.

Anyway, after a sleepless Saturday and Sunday night, we eventually sold it to a lovely German lady for above our reserve, which is so, so excellent. I don't think it has hit me yet what has happened- the house is so full of memories and love. Even though it was only two years, I felt like I grew up in that house. It was where I learnt to cook, where Lee and I raged at each other and watched Mad Men in bed. It was where we lived with my best friend in one room, washed our dishes in the bath and used one tiny gas cooker for all our meals. I started my new job there, turned 25 there, made heaps of new friends and covered the bathroom in hairdye.

Au revoir, 153.