emma clark gratton

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Baby.

I am pregnant with you. This is how the story unfolds. Lee and I have been talking for a while about wanting kids. I always knew that I wanted a big, busy, loud, messy family, and that I wanted kids quite young. Mum had me when she was 23 and Grandma had her when she was 20 (I think?), and the three of us are really close. I think a lot of that is because we are so close in age. I am 25 now and will be 26 when you are born. I have only been off the pill for about six months, and apparently it takes at least that long for you body to adjust. I went to see a doctor for a pre-conception check about a month ago, and she did some tests (vitamin levels, vaccinations etc). Then we started trying that same weekend, and I got pregnant pretty much straight away. Mum says that she also got knocked up quickly, so we Clark/Bendle women must be fertile ladies. We did a test a few weeks ago, when I was one week late, but it was negative. I was pretty disappointed, but we hadn’t been trying very long so I figured that it would happen eventually. A few weeks after that, on Wednesday 5th October, after my period was 15 days late, we did another test. It was about 6am and we were heading to work. I wanted to do another test just for peace of mind, but Lee was in a rush to get to work. I said it would only take a minute, and I needed to pee anyway! So we got the last test out of the box and I peed on the stick. The instructions say that two red lines appear if you are pregnant, and one line appears if you are not pregnant. Even if there is a faint second line, you are still pregnant. Well, the two red lines came up straight away. I yelped out to Lee to come quickly, and then we both screamed and hugged each other. I was crying and he was smiling so much. We hugged in the kitchen for ages and laughed and cried. It was such a special moment and one that I’ll remember forever. We took a photo of ourselves, knowing that one day you would look at it and smile. We probably look lots younger than we do when you are reading this! We got in the car and drove to Lee’s workshop, which is out the back of Dad’s offices in Blackburn. I called Sam on the way and woke her up with the news. She was really happy and kept saying “I love you guys!” Mum works with Dad two or three days a week, and I wasn’t sure if she was coming in today. I texted her from Lee’s phone, seeing if she was coming in and if she wanted a coffee, and she said she was on her way. I had to wait for an hour until she arrived and was completely freaking out with excitement! She finally arrived and I jumped up with a stupid grin on my face. She smiled and asked what I was doing there. I muttered something about having the day off and coming to help Lee. Then I just yelled out “I’m pregnant!” She screamed and burst into tears and we hugged. It was really special. Dad arrived not long after and he was so smiley and happy. A really special moment! I spent the day hanging out with mum and Lee, and talking about everything. There is so much to think about. Names, what hospital, what doctor, all that stuff.

We went to mum and dad’s for dinner. Ben came over and I told him - he was absolutely gobsmacked. It was an awesome reaction. I called Grandma and Grandpa and they totally lost it on the phone. Grandma started screaming and shrieking into the phone, and they both kept saying “This is the best news I’ve ever heard!” We have a doctor’s appointment on Saturday (tomorrow) where we will get a proper check and find out what to do next. It is very overwhelming and doesn’t quite seem real. You are about the size of a pea.I already have this fierce love for you, even though I haven’t met you yet. I already love being pregnant. I am looking forward to having a big belly, filled with you. Some background: Lee and I live in a really ugly house in Preston, which we are renovating. It is bright blue and hideous, but has good bones. We live in one room and the kitchen, so it is pretty tough going but also cosy and fun. I work as the Associate Editor of a bike riding magazine called Ride On. It is published by Bicycle Victoria, and I work at their offices on the corner of Swanston and Bourke Streets in the city. I have heaps of friends here, it is a pretty great place to work. I write articles about bikes and bike riding and get to choose magazine layouts and covers. Lee is working for himself, he is very busy though and finding it tough. He works really hard but is doing really well. He is so, so skilled and talented at what he does. I am so in love with him. He constantly impresses me with his compassion and patience. He will be a great dad, and there isn’t anyone else I would want to embark on this new journey with. Sam is still my best friend, we talk to each other most days. I see Audrey a lot, and Marnie and Blaise. I am beginning to feel ‘pregnant’. I have a dull nauseous feeling all the time, and a super-strong sense of smell. I am wearing all my skinny clothes, like tight jeans and pencil skirts because in a few months I won’t be able to. Can’t wait to meet you.